Monday, 8 January 2007 - 2:54 PM GMT
Name:
"Gledwood"
Home Page:
https://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
"Holly Blue" wrote:
Morning Gledwood....is that your real name by the way? It's very unusal. Holly isn't mine...I had the same bloody problem as you...had a great blog name but it all got mucked up while I was setting it up and I ended up picking HBE which I don't like at all...I just wanted Holly Blue because of the butterfly with that name which I love, but someone else had that so I just stuck eyes on the end of it!!......nem mind...I'd like to change it but I'm stuck with it now.
I visited that Antartica site you mentioned....wow it is fantastic isn't it. The photographs are amazing, the natural beauty in this world never fails to impress and excite me. Thanks for telling me about it.
How are you Gled...I continue to be lost for words as I read about what you go through being an addict. I feel for you... From reading your blog I am begining to understand what it is like to be so addicted... I find it horrifying and upsetting.
Do you ever see a day when you will be clean Gled? Or are you resigned to this.
I personally know two people, a father and a daughter who were both addicts and managed to turn their lives around. (She sang at my wedding and he was invoved in the service.) They went to a place called Yeldall.....I don't know if you are familiar with it. I know they have a lot of success there. I'll give you the link to their site, it's not completely up and running but there is some information there for you to get a good idea about the place. the address is www.yeldall.org.uk .
I have known about this place since Iwas a child, and knowing about it's fantastic reputation... I just feel it would be wrong of me not to mention it to you....I hope you don't mind. I'll just shut up and keep my nose out if you want me to, but I feel I want to help you, and I don't know what else I can do. It is very difficult knowing there is a good soul out there not living the life that was intended for him ....you deserve more than this...well that's what I think anyway.
I'n my thoughts Gled.... ;)
Hi HollyBlue... I'm okay. Apart from getting very wound up by commentboxes yesterday! I had something very important (well, I thought so) to say and I'm denied the opportunity to say it. I've had a Google account for ages (don't understand quite what that means, but hey). Tried to log in. It claimed my password was wrong. Which is difficult to believe as I'd purposefully written it down in my diary... you know what it's like with computers and passwords you HAVE to be very organized. Yeah, so all that wound me up. And as I say you have my sympathy on losing a nice name, isn't that annoying. What's wrong with Holly Blue though? I think it's rather nice.
Gledwood isn't my real name, it's an amalgam of names...
I'm glad you liked Antarctica. I found it via Plumpiemousie... you can find some amazing links via other people's blogs, know what I mean? I went via that Norfolk bloke, he seems to know loads of those people who've been on the radio etc bc their blogs are so famous (My Boyfriend's a Twat, Belle de Jour, the English lady in Paris who got sacked for talking about her boss online...)
Am I resigned to a lifetime of addiction?
Well, for over two years I seriously told myself (and seriously believed this) that I was stopping "tomorrow". Or if not tomorrow then "next week". I detoxed at my parents' house... cold turkey and they didn't know what was wrong till finally on day three I gave in and confessed... absolutely chaos. I shall post that story properly one day (soon, I promise. It's one that takes some thinking thru for the telling, know what I mean?)
That was in 2001. In 2003 I went into "rehabby"-type places twice. But I just was NOT ready to stop. I ran out the door within a matter of a few days. I was way too much headoverheels in love with the heroin to stop. Seriously.
More recently I've told myself "I'm going on doing this forever."
Which is healthier in a way. No self-deception.
But I do see things changing and my mind changing in the future. I'm just past saying I'm going to be clean because it's what I'm kind of expected to say (I'm so young and talented and have so much to offer the world blah blah -- I've heard so much of that. THAT, believe me is NOT a valid enough reason to make me want to stop. I've felt the tide change internally before. I had a windfall of money and did so much drugs I felt genuinely sick of them. So if that feeling comes back (& I sense it somehow will) then yes I shall stop. I've not heard of the facility you mentioned, though...
Meanwhile I'm doing FAR better than I was say 2 years ago. I'm keeping okay. And I'm not deceiving myself by saying what people would like to hear me say...
That's about as far as it goes...
Gledwood
xx
PS Thanks for that link: I shall add it to my collection.
caffeinated