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Gledwood's Drug Confessions: A Heroin Addict's Blog
Thursday, 23 November 2006
Junkie Sausages
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Games?
Topic: Junkie Cookery

I've posted nothing for two days because I've been so depressed, musing especially to myself, WILL ANYBODY ANYWHERE EVER READ THIS? I fear not. So this might as well be a Secret Diary Online.

  Having said that, I can't resist giving my recipe for Junkie Sausages.

  Equipment required: 1 pan (sauce or frying but 2 pans is handier, if you haven't sold the 2nd one of gear); 1 fork; 1 knofe (optional); 1 clean plate (or sheet of newspaper if desperate).

  Ingredients: Cooking oil or marge, beef sausages (not pork -- I'm not into Halal or Kosher, but why anyone would want to bring entrails of a dead swine into their home, least of all into the kitchen, is beyond me); value baked beans; coarse ground black pepper/Worcester Sauce/Tabasco to taste.

  You must be: Sober enough to stand up.

  Method: Heat ring to medium-high, add oil to pan, separate sausages. Plonk however many required into pan (3 is quite sufficient for one person). Whether or not you "prick" the sausages is immaterial for once they're browned all over by careful turning (about 4 mins) you either chop them into little stumps with a knife (simple method) or, unable even to find a knife though you're sure there used to be one soewhere around here, you use the aforementioned fork to prick-prick-prick all around and cut each sausage into 3-5 sections. Fry the upended stumps, giving all a good crisping (about 3 mins each side). Test one stump if unsure as to whether cooked - any pink showing needs further frazzling.

  Turf cooked sausages on to plate or newspaper. Pour hot oil into empty cider can or down toilet - NOT down sink where it will resolidify causing gross inconvenience.

  Now cook baked beans. Same pan may be used if required. When beans done dump over sausages on plate -- or if no plate, dump sausages back from newspaper to pan. Add black pepper/whatever else to taste -- ta-daa!

Literally none of my dealers had crack today, except the one who's furthest out of my way and is being a real ripoff artist of late. I sat at a friend's house for much of the afternoon then perused the shops. I'm proud NOT to be a Shoplifter and hence not banned from all of them. If the bookshop banned me I think I really would lie across the railway tracks. All afternoon (I'm posting this the next day) I was promised a call back when he finally managed to pick up this White. No such luck. So I tried someone else who was literally picking up just then. Because I only wanted £10 worth -- the minimum buy -- and there was (I presume) something rivetting on Sky, he decided he would not be bothered to drive the 10 minute distance from his manor to mine. So in the ned I did have to take the bus to Mr Stingy and back. I know he was peed off because I didn't buy brown as well (he knows me well enough to know I got it elsewhere). Got back. All coke gone in half an hour. Really wanted more and have money. i think runningto and from a dealer for more and more white is so depressing. I'm an addict through and through, I admit that. The nly drug I do use end-to-end some days is alcohol. Because I tend to buy only one can at a time the local shops hate me. Not only do they have to see my ugly mug every hour or two every day, they hate me more because they with I were a shoplifter so they had an excuse to ban me. Speaking of which, has only made me crave alcohol more. It's cold and raining; I'm not in the mood to go outside... must go anyhow.

Posted by gledwood at 11:26 AM GMT

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