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Gledwood's Drug Confessions: A Heroin Addict's Blog
Friday, 24 November 2006
Valium Marilyn
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Solitaire
Topic: Diazepam Dizziness

Righty-Ho Then! Had me cyder n chips. I couldn't fail to note all these ads springing up about me. I feel like I'm surrounded by billboards. At first it was drug treatments and detox clinics (v. posh sounding, too). But having ranted yesterday how much I loathe swineflesh for my Junkie Sausages -- what should spring up but Pork Recipes, Porky Plus etc. Oh dear!

  I was up by the shops yesterday with my friend who I'll call Marilyn. Imagine Marilyn Monroe, not dead, stoned out of her brains on Valium with a brash Cockney voice to boot. Spotting a Chinese vendor of electroglinting Xmas keyrings she bumbled up in full havoc-causing mode. "'Ere? How much are those?" she demands.

  Two pounds comes the answer. (I bet in New York City they're $2 or less.) Well anyway, at the top of her remarkably loud voice, Marilyn goes on to ask, "Have you got a passport? Have you got a visa to be 'ere?" Poor Chinese girl shakes her head. "Well I'm calling the police!"

  The poor Chinese girl vanished in a flash to the great amusement of her fellow traders/hawkers/sign a direct debit for charity and pay my bills for me people & sundry leafletters.

  Earlier on, Valium Marilyn had spotted a particularly overcrowded cybercaff and shrieked, "Ere, what are they all sitting in there like that for?" (pointing at the boxed-in wooded partitions).

  Rapping her rings on the plate-glass window, half a dozen 20somethings of all nationalities gawped on in surprise as, approaching top volume she yelled, "Are you all right in there? Have you got enough room to breathe? Bloody hell! Looks like the inside of a prison van in there!" And went on to describe her Holloway (women's prison) experiences much to the glance-exchanging delight of everyone at the nearby busstop.

  Wonder what ads I'll get this time? Let's add some cheeky choice wind-up words and see...

  HAEMORRHOIDS oh my haemorrhoids/haemorrhoid PILES anus piles PILES throbbing doctor GP embarrassing embarrassment DESPERATION...

  L8Rs folks,

                      Gleds

                                 xx


Posted by gledwood at 6:52 PM GMT
Updated: Friday, 24 November 2006 7:17 PM GMT

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