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Gledwood's Drug Confessions: A Heroin Addict's Blog
Monday, 31 December 2007
Close to the Cusp
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Auld Lang Syne... still!!!
Topic: Daily Doings

CLOSE TO THE CUSP of New Year’s Day; I am tempted to go out begging the revellers for change. But that would be going backwards a few years.

   Sad as that may seem, I can’t do it. Also my gut feeling tells me to stay inside. I have my methadone. I’ve drunk quite some quantity in advance to prevent that nasty phenomenon of waking early feeling sick, like I did this morning. I was barely over the cusp of withdrawal — just a bit under the weather…

Posted by gledwood at 11:59 PM GMT
Thursday, 18 January 2007
Wednesday into Thursday
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Killing Me Softly...
Topic: Daily Doings

Okay: this might turn out to be a bit of a nonentry. But I'll try. I have not been feeling too fantastic the last few days. The only fun I've had has been talking to people I know through these blogs-boxes (you know, the commentboxes).

As I said below, I slept in late. Went round supermarket after I posted that: no beef sausages thanks very much. All along was really killing time as tyke dealer not ready. (I call him a tyke: to the best of my knowledge he's 22.) I know these people well enough that when one in particular says "half an hour" he means in 2 hours' time when I've got me a driver". Was in no hurry. Why hurry when you're not sick? It all goes — all gets used up pretty quick. Having said that I took half of it. Had kept cooking on for an hour and a half by now. Gauwched out again (maybe "slept", when you've been on the stuff as long as I have the drugs and one's normal state become so intermixed it's hard to tell which is really down to which...)

Well I've gotta go again as it is getting late. I will try and post something "proper" 2morrow.

Laters, peeps.

Posted by gledwood at 1:44 AM GMT
Wednesday, 17 January 2007
A Singularly Ordinary Wednesday
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Perfect Day - Lou Reed
Topic: Daily Doings

THIS HAS BEEN a singularly unsatisfying day. Was battered out of bed by a phonecall at midday. Had to visit my friend who "had something for me". Was dog-tired and not up for scurring up the road like I normally do. Bumped into Marilyn on the way back from her eye hospital appointment: she had that alien-sleep extruding from the corner of her eyes (those fluorescent drops the eyedoctors drip in). She also had massively dilated raver's pupils. This was just the result of eye-drops as well, she informed me, but she was in a suspiciously chatty good mood...

Mother Hubbard and I went round the market because Mother Hubbard wanted some kidneys for her "old man" Mr Dodger's pie. Then I went to the chemist further up for fresh works.

I got home and threw out a sackful of rubbish (mostly empty cyder bottles and cans) that had "accumulated" over the past days....

Also: stairs in darkness; someone's exchanged the hallway bulb for their own blown one, yet again...

Oh and how exciting this all is! And how was your day??!

Posted by gledwood at 5:25 PM GMT
Updated: Wednesday, 17 January 2007 5:41 PM GMT
Tuesday, 16 January 2007
Not chilled out. At all...
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: not playing
Topic: Daily Doings

I AM VERY STRESSED. TRYING to open a new blog. Computers drive me up the wall. Specifically: because they're meant to be logical and yet you cannot bank on EVER using commonsense to get you anywhere!!

THAT is what really GETS TO ME about computers.

Have you noticed? I am being so extremely restrained?

I never pointed this out, but I have, so far, stuck completely to my no bad language rule. And man, I feel so tempted to speak my ordinary gutter English sometimes...

Well let's lighten the subject.

Mousey Scalextrics at 9am yet again. This swine is such a scurrulous scurrier. At one pont he appeared to dart under a discarded sock. I slammed my hand down over said sock as assertively as one could do with one's living 10cm-long pet under it. Mouster was nowhere to be seen!! In that split-second he had pinged... somewhere.

Five minutes pass. He reappears. Same scenario again. Ppph-chaaaaao--!! Gone!

Next time I back him into a corner. Put hands over the darty swine (no point even attempting an immediate pick-up; he would surely hop outta my hands). Carefully and slowly grab him and swiftly remove about 300ft (in mouse-feet) from the floor. Ears down, heart beating harder than I've ever felt it, he peers up at me as if to say, "I was only playing". Yeah— and I'm the Queen Mother. What if I'd have propped open my door and left it? You wouldn't have pinged outside? Oh no, mumbles Mousey, looking at the floor.

Of course I had to have a big shot of heroin to calm me down. Thankfully cyder was already in the house so I was knocking this back through the whole Furry Scalectrix escapade... & I've finally spelt the name right there... Scalectrix is an electronic grand prix game where you assemble track in a figure of eight (or whatever) and the cars go hurtling round. But I'm gonna have to stop playing the unsupervised Mousey version. It is too stressful on us both. I think he would prefer the live locusts.

Oh and that's about all I'm in the mood to tell. I will answer my commentary as soon as I'm placid enough to sit through the inevitable going-in-&-out of pages waiting times...

Posted by gledwood at 6:36 PM GMT
Monday, 15 January 2007
Stressful Day
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: Daily Doings

FURRY SCALEXTRIC?? Yes indeed: I woke up between intermittent sloom between 5:30 and 6:00am and sure enough the Mouster has escaped my bedroom sleeve and is playing Furry Scalextrics full-on having a manic dart in all corners of my room (and it only takes a matter of a split couple of seconds surely for him to ping from one corner to the other).

It's a stressful day. I lay down and slept in the late afternoon but when I was up I was well and truly up. I hate being over-busy: I feel like everyone wants a bit of me. Their own personal chunk of flesh.

Craving a drink, a bath, a cigarette all at once I "darted" round Sainsbury's — though sadly at nothing approaching Chinese Mouster speed — fresh wholegrain tagliatelle, cod in parsley etc. Even my toothpaste had run so totally out I didn't want to talk to anyone today without putting my head in a plastic bag.

Rode bus. Backwards. Which does nothing to put me in a good mood. Innerly growling at the driver not to stop anywhere except my stop and yes just run down the pedestrians I don't care. Get me home NOW.

At home was just seething so much like a pan boiling over when the phone rings. I hit the roof. It is Pascal to do with 2 dealers with the same name and which one would I have seen this morning. I didn't really have time for this kind of talk but ever so politely I bore with him. Thankfully all my cooking was at least on the hob and bubbling merrily by now.

Pascal got cut off (not my doing. Don't laugh! No! Honestly!!) so I darted downstairs and ran hot bath. Meanwhile I miss his call back. Grrr...

Have rapid bath. Feel so much better for it. Also my teeth don't feel like bits of ten-year-buried ballpoint pen any more. Seeing as I cleaned them with 49p Sainsbury's own "total care" (totally careless in my case) „Zahnpasta“.

All this time I was gulping down cyder. It did eventually make me feel better. Except my veins behaved so badly for my "calming" hit I have one "works" half-full of blood. And the hit I did get in, went in partly in my left ankle (playing up so I removed it) and finally in my right foot. Which is not particularly pleasant. Injecting an acidified mixture right there.

So I'm not so much hitting the roof (trust me, if I were, I don't know I could handle computer foibles enough to be posting this now. Know what I mean?)

My wonderful heroin overdose story is posted below. I'm still in the process of cleaning it up. Rephrase: it's incomplete at the time of writing so bear with me. But have a pleasant time reading it anyway.

Okay, kiddos:— just keying this down's giving me renewed stresses. So I'll see yers later then,


Posted by gledwood at 8:50 PM GMT
Sunday, 14 January 2007
html nervous breakdown
Mood:  vegas lucky
Now Playing: Russian Roulette. Again.
Topic: Daily Doings

html nervous breakdown... 

I did well to intone my mantra yesterday I am sinking down down again I feel it I'm sleeping hours and hours again all the signs.

Got a phone call from American friend saying other friend Mother H, says "don't bother coming round": I found this slightly rude but there you go.

On a lighter note, I tried my hand at html pasting a supposedly "difficult" javascript sitemeter counter on to a dummy blog I set up. So glad it was a dummy, for counter successfully transferred: whoopee! However, in doing so, I did some grave damage to something inside the programming. The site doesn't work at all. But the counter is faithfully recording visits and page views. (If you click on it.) If anyone really wants to laugh at my folly go to

Bear in mind that this was an up and running blog with side picture, full colour scheme and random old postings loaded up. Now it's just a toolbar.

If anyone does understand how Tripod's blog system works just explain to me please where I'm mean to paste this eejut code?? I'm trying statcounter next time on another dummy blog. Because the 1st is so badly messed up by my random pasting (well I thought I was pasting between the body tags obviously I got totaly the wrong part of the body). I don't get how yous lot seem all to know about this stuff. Where did you learn it? They never taught me html at school (it didn't exist). Anyway answers please, if you do have any comments. Sincere thanks...

Posted by gledwood at 1:10 PM GMT
Updated: Sunday, 14 January 2007 1:46 PM GMT
Sleepy Saturday: Acid Dreams
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: We Call It
Topic: Daily Doings

Sleepy Saturday — Acid Dreams

I WOKE UP about an hour ago after having slept for SEVEN HOURS — that’s 7 hrs on top of the 8 hrs or so I slept last night. In fact I know I slept well last night as I woke at 10:30 which is really late for me. Usually I’m up at 5:30… Hang on, what’s “usual” about my sleep? It goes round in cog-like circles. You never know which little cycle it’s going to pass on to. I know I’m often awake at 5:30 because that’s when BBC World Service passes over to Radio 4 on the analogue transmitters and shortly after handover a programme called Farming Today comes on, all about prime steaks and winegrowing and cheeses— not so much “boring” as yummeee!!

    Yes I did meet a person of doubtful provenance on a mountain bike at about 11:30 this morning and this may explain part of my drowsiness. But today’s big sleep came on too late (at about 2pm and it doesn’t take me THAT long to get a vein) and lasted too long. The drowsing effect of heroin does indeed last the 4-hrs specified in certain textbooks. (How do you think I know the little bits and pieces I scatter throughout this blog? I used to own a mini drugs books collection…)

    I’m not getting depressed though I’m not getting depressed — my mantra.

    There’s not a huge lot to say today. Maybe I ought to mention the nightmares I keep getting. Also (more infrequently) some ultra-farout acid dreams. Brainfrazzlingly weird ones that I couldn’t describe in any meaningful detail. You know (if you’ve taken it) when everything goes like a computer game. And then the game gives way to the abstract codes behind it? Well some of that. Plus imagine you’ve been at a rave all night. It is now late… too late for you, you’d rather be in bed but it’s midday, the party shows no sign of stopping, daylight is burning in your head: and,more to the point your brains are frying so bad you’re like the experimental spider in the 1960s that stopped spinning beautiful orb-webs on acid and just span a dirty great blob of stickiness as the microgram-count eventually got too high. I often bear that spider in mind when I think of hard acid. True or not (and I think it is) the spider story is a damn good metaphor for what LSD can do to the mind.

    On that note I'm saying goodbye goodnight, folks.

    Okay, timezones: good evening/afternoon/morning/night...


Posted by gledwood at 12:02 AM GMT
Updated: Sunday, 14 January 2007 1:43 AM GMT
Thursday, 11 January 2007
Hamsters? Poems? Drugs?
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: I'm not playing at nothing. Leave me alone!!
Topic: Daily Doings

OKAY I've just flicked down this page. Full of hamsters and poems, hmm... I really need to put this stuff in another blog. This one's going crazy. Do you want to hear about drugs? I slept in till 2:30pm today. 2 dealers tried to phone me up "telesales"— do I want their wares? Well no. Because one's is weak and the other not too bad but it goes foamy in the spoon (yeah, right!) which is kind of offputting. So I'm going to the one I saw last night next time.

Place yer bets folks: how long will next time be?? When I have the dough and the guy's one street away?

Get outta here, Einstein — you're not required!

Posted by gledwood at 3:23 PM GMT
Wednesday, 10 January 2007
My Diary
Mood:  special
Now Playing: at not being a crackhead...
Topic: Daily Doings

OKAY, MY DIARY FOR TODAY: Hey, before I start, I was going to start up  a new blog and call it "The Thoughts of Gledwood" — and I'd just leave it all blank... wah-waaah!....

I'M FIGHTING A BATTLE WITH CRACK. It's not like I take loads of it, (though I have done at certain times that are hopefully long gone never to return)— but when I do have a tenner spare, that's automatically what it goes on.

I want to be able to say (truthfully, of course) that I've turned my back on that stuff for good. Because I don't really like it. I don't like people who take it. (I do like the way it makes me feel in the short term, but that doesn't necessarily contradict the above: think about it.)

I could have posted earlier that I'd suffered and beat that craving. Because I turned down the opportunity of scoring. Then, idiot that I am, I got itchy feet and did end up going up to a certain park. No-one was there, so I rang the dealer. Turns out police had come and grabbed his stash-bag (and presumably his runner too, though of course he didn't say that on the phone), so "nothing's happening for a little while" (which means, no doubt, all afternoon). So I hared off home and scored in the next street from me. Bigger "rock" but quality not nearly as good.

And so the battle rages on...

Posted by gledwood at 7:01 PM GMT
Updated: Wednesday, 10 January 2007 7:14 PM GMT
Tuesday, 9 January 2007
Landlord Update
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: Poker? Or Chess? Which is the best allusion?
Topic: Daily Doings

I DID SET EYES ON MY LANDLORD at about 8:12am, 12 mins following the close of my "clear up or else" deadline. I was on my way to the corner shop for more alcohol supplies and I pretended not to see him. I got up extra early to put finishing touches to my suddenly amazingly sparse-looking room. I drank lots of cyder in doing so. By the time 8am dragged itself round I was roaring drunk and ready for a confrontation. None happened. Which is probably just as well, I s'pose. I was in such a mood with him I honestly didn't care about consequences. Sometimes, in moments of despair, I believe I just was not cut out to live in a civilized house with locking doors, windows and an intact roof like the rest of 21st century man. I'm only fit to live in freezing squalour on the streets, I tell myself. But that is probably depression talking, so best ignore it, eh?

I was so tired at about midday that I fell asleep with Mousey running all over me at play. Of course I woke up about ten minutes later, checked my clothes and — gaah! — the swine has gone! Couldn't see him anywhere at first. Got his tank and tipped it sideways, hoping its nesty aroma would tempt him back in. But five minutes later there I saw him, pinging supersonically like a hyperactive vole. Man, this creature is seriously fast. Even when I'm knelt right next to him that's no guarantee of catching the little beggar. If you've ever kept a pet mouse, you'll know how dopey the petshop version is compared to his cousins in the wild. Fear and lightning reactions become tamed out of him. Well my Chinese Mousey is just as lightning fast as a wild housey mousey, if not faster. And certainly quieter. (Whoever came up with that expression as quiet as a mouse was either deaf or hadn't lived in a house teaming with them in the age of the modern carrier bag because house mice can be exceedingly noisy when the lights are off at night.) After one badly failed attempt I did snatch up the wayward rodent, whose ears went instantly down — all repentantly. I shoved him up my sleeve where he instantly calmed down and started washing himself and settled down to bed. He seems to think of it as home up there and relaxes. I blame the escape on my evil landlord. If he hadn't implied he'd be paying that visit at 8am, my sleep pattern wouldn't have been quite so desecrated to begin with.

Well that's about that about landlords and mice. Keep reading. There's some cringeworthy poetry below. And I'm not necessarily just referring to the William McGonnagal links...

Posted by gledwood at 10:34 PM GMT
Not Homeless
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: still not playing.
Topic: Daily Doings

1. Re the bin-diving/etc, (see below) the word in question is "freegan".

2. I dunno why I call this guy Crackhead of the Century. Saddo of the Century would be more appropriate. He was still out begging change at 4am. Someone (whom he knows) ran off with the previous tenner he made. What can I say? Also (re some past happenings) he is either mentally retarded or a stirrer of "muck" par excellence—got me in real trouble one time.

3. I've not been chucked out. Yet.


PS If you want a laugh, click on this: & have a gorp at some "international fugitives" from justice. Elizabeth & Fritz Otte —what are they wanted for? Robbing a Sue Ryder shop??

Posted by gledwood at 12:28 PM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 12:50 PM GMT
Freakin' Clean: Clean Freak
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Que Sera Sera
Topic: Daily Doings

HI PEOPLE. I got myself in a tailspin earlier. I wish I hadn't spent so much of my life being depressed sometimes; it means I can launch right back into all the old negative thoughts with a fingersnap's notice. The guy I named Crackhead of the Century went "yeah, right," under his breath when I said I hadn't got 50p to spare earlier on and I had to seriously keep my hands to myself.

What I did to cure it all was eat my "junkie sausages & bakedbeans" (the recipe's given in "topics" list under Junkie Cookery if you want a laugh. My twist on sausages & beans (for those impatient with the cooking) is you brown the outside then chop 'em up & upend them, searing the resulting little sections. Goes all lovely & crunchie. Yummmm.) & then I slept for a couple of hours. And now I feel a lot better.

As I say I've made a huge effort lately not to be living like a glorified down-&-out (albeit with my own little roof over my head). My clothes are clean. I have on Puma trakkie bottoms the same colour blue as my blog background — a beautifully clean and laundered cobalt blue. I have on a black hoodie, that is also (fairly) freshly washed (well, a week ago and that's good for me, believe!) My trainers (sneakers) are scummy though. Silver Nikes I've overworn but I've another pair I'm saving up for when these really disintegrate. (I barely ever buy clothes but people have been incredibly generous with me. I'm nowadays wearing pretty much the kind of stuff I'd choose if I had the choice... I have some very generous friends (one in particular, Mr Dodger, has a habit of bin-diving. There's a word for this when you live on stuff others have chucked out... but it escapes me. When the expression does come back to me I'll post it. It's been on the radio & in all the papers. The newest, most ecosound way of living.)

Okay, I've a hit waiting for me then I'm going to reorganize the last of my stuff. After that, que sera sera, as Doris Day trilled. Whatever will be will be...

... The future's not ours to see ...

... Que sera ...

... sera!!

& now to quote Bazil Brush:—


Posted by gledwood at 1:14 AM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 1:38 AM GMT
Monday, 8 January 2007
Eviction Threat
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: with the Hoover
Topic: Daily Doings

THIS TIME TOMORROW I could be homeless. "Could be" is the operative expression; it's my landlord's threat. He says I must tidy up my room by 8am tomorrow and unusually for him (he does nothing in an organized fashion usually) the threat is put in writing in a one-sentence letter. Yes, that makes it more legally serious, I know.

I don't get on with my landord. I am recovering from severe problems with depression and just not coping. [I just read this back: I mean I'm recovering from the not coping+depression. Not I was depressed & I'm still not coping. Okay?] As I've hinted before I literally gave up on life a while ago— almost completely. I ended up in a room full of clutter (it had all gone in my friends' shed during the months I was homeless and the years I spent with Nutnut but it had to come back to me eventually. And I was in no right mind really to deal with it when it did.) And the problem just exacerbated. Eventually I did clear the room ship-shape so most of that old clutter's long gone.

The council have me down as "vulnerable". I'd not have been housed otherwise. But when "vulnerable" shows its true "vulnerable" colours, the same council that demanded vulnerability as a box-ticking manoevre don't want to deal with its untidy actuality.

I've an Everest mound of washing in the middle of the floor. A load of books is next to it. The pile has toppled. The bin also I knocked over during my yesterday's efforts at cleaning. So he looks at this and doesn't see my effort, he only sees my mess.

It's going to take me an hour or so to get my room all ship-shape for his inspection.

And then, tomorrow morning, I hopefully won't be homeless.

Posted by gledwood at 5:13 PM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 1:53 AM GMT
Friends' Blogs & Links
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Mellow Yellow
Topic: Daily Doings

RIGHTY-HO FOLKS; I've just spent ages tinkering with that huge list of links you see to your right. A huge, yet in many ways barely started list of links. Because I'm planning to develop a comprehensive library of the absolute best links for druggie addiction and related topics. Which will take quite some time. BTW if anyone knows a good drugs info website not there, would you please be so kind as to tell me? Also one question: what's the American national antidrugs info society (there must be at least one) called? Or is it the one I've already got up there: the Thingie for a DrugFree America? or the National Institute of Drug Abuse? Isn't there any other one? Ours is called Frank (The National Drugs Helpline). Now I have googled this without the success I'd hoped for, but I'm looking for national equivalents to this accross the English-speaking world.

So if you know a link (or just the name of a famous drug help agency or drug info network, Comments please! And don't worry about stating the obvious. If I've not listed it, I don't know it.

Re the blogs I've resorted and categorized. Yes I know a few of yous might laugh at being called "normal"...! But you are normal compared to me.

Basically the new categories go • Druggie and using (like me (ie Chipper)) • Druggie past; trying to stop or successfully stopped • Normal people's blog-journals • News-oriented blogs (Power&Control) ... & lastly • Wonderblogs; these are ones that aim to bring a little magic into your life. Not personal diaries so much as ideas resources, plumpiemousian dreams, ginger cats' purrings, etc...

The blogs listed are the ones I'm reading. I hope you have fun with them too.



Posted by gledwood at 2:13 PM GMT
Updated: Monday, 8 January 2007 2:31 PM GMT
Blogspot... more
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: the tantrum has passed...
Topic: Daily Doings

THANKS FOR THE BLOGSPOT REPLIES. Hope I wasn't too offputting with my ranting. Sometimes I spend quite a long time pondering what I'm going to say... only for said comment to have to go unposted... that does drive me up the wall!!!

Sunday, 7 January 2007 - 11:48 PM GMT

Name: "Ruth"
Home Page:
Believe me it's a right pain BEING a blogspot blogger; there have been sooooo many problems.

Take care


Yep, I think you said it all, Ruth!

When I'd decided to do this blog (bear in mind I'm someone who's very lazy, but when I do make up my mind to do something nothing gets in my way, does that make any sense?) so I thought, Who's best known - ie who will best promote my blog? Ah! Google! (How naïve was I then??!) So I googled, 'google blog' and got to blogspot. Went through fairly lengthy registry process. Even put in a short blog entry.

Then when I try to log back in... can't do it.

They repeatedly asked for a username I hadn't given.

Eventually (and this was at long last, maybe an hour later during which time I'd smoked about 12 cigarettes and hit the ceiling) a help page told me my username was the email address I'd given.

To cut a long story short, google blogspot let me open THREE blogs using the SAME username and password (totally not knowing; it's their fault not mine). NONE of these blogs would subsequently log in. Oh I tell a lie. I ONCE got into ONE of them. And most annoyingly of all this was using up the treasured domain names I really wanted, because once I'd attempted blog one with one name obviously blog 2 had to be called something different.

That's what put me off blogspot right from the beginning. So I "know your pain", folks!

Posted by gledwood at 10:44 AM GMT
Updated: Monday, 8 January 2007 10:56 AM GMT
Sunday, 7 January 2007
Annoying Blogs that Won't Take My Comments (does anyone agree with this?)
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: I'm not playing. I'm throwing a tantrum.
Topic: Daily Doings

IT HAS JUST TAKEN ME LITERALLY 20 MINUTES to leave a simple comment on a "no anonymous comments" blogspot blog. 

Some of you google blogspot bloggers need to bear in mind by not allowing anonymous comments you're closing your blog off to the entire outside world EXCEPT people who blog with your service provider... I know loads of people on blogspot who accept (a) google (b) other (c) anonymous. Will it really hurt you to allow this?

If someone leaves an objectionable comment on mine I can easily delete it. If I get left loads of them, I can moderate before they are published. You have these options too.

I've attempted to open so many google/blogspot accounts they mess up my passwords and identities all the time (I write them down so I know who's at fault).

Look I'm not trying to have a personal go at anyone. And I'm not even just talking to one or two people. This has happened to me loads of times. It is really frustrating. Trust!

Come on. Sort it out. I beg you!

Comments/remarks/opinions/info, please!

Posted by gledwood at 7:28 PM GMT
Updated: Sunday, 7 January 2007 8:33 PM GMT
A Yummy Dinner
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: ... you name the tune...
Topic: Daily Doings
YEAH, MAN a yummy dinner. And enough free B to put in my bum (intramuscularly) to give a pleasing dizziness to the end of a drab weekend. Bon appetit, well and truly.

Posted by gledwood at 6:39 PM GMT
Quarter to three, Sunday...
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: nothing much...
Topic: Daily Doings

IT'S ABOUT A QUARTER TO THREE and just about time I should be getting to my friend's house for Sunday lunch. (Yes, I get Sunday lunch every week free — with all trimmings. How cool is that? Sometimes I even get a free taste of heroin to give bon appetit. (Can't count on that, though, grrr.))

I don't think I mentioned this, but during the very most intense phase of my addiction I relied on heroin to eat, sleep and get up. Obviously I had to get out of bed without it some days, in order to get it. But I certainly could not sleep without it. And I found it really difficult to eat without having a hit just before. One afternoon I remember banging up next to the fridge and tearing into cold roast chicken right as the B-buzz hit me. The result of this "drugs eating disorder" was I became a bit overweight (testimony to how much heroin I was taking). Also I was living with Mad Bird. The food was free. She was crazed. And I needed all the consolation I could get...

Posted by gledwood at 2:49 PM GMT
Updated: Sunday, 7 January 2007 8:36 PM GMT
Friday, 5 January 2007
The Day After the Crazy Night Before...
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Still Exhaustedly, I'm afraid...
Topic: Daily Doings

Wow! Check out the reply I got from The Sun's agony aunt "Dear Deidre" below. I emailed in asking for any good or unusual links she might have for my website, so the reply you see is what she wrote (unedited) below. I've always wanted to include some very basic info on the drugs from an unbiased source so the cyber-leaflet she sent me (it came attached as a Word document) seems as good as any. I want to emphasize I've pasted it up here exactly as it came for public information.

I still didn't sleep too brilliantly last night. There was madness in our house in the form of the prostitute's boyfriend going so deranged on crack he was howling at one point like a wild animal. All the money had obviously gone and she was imploring him to be "allowed" to keep her mobile phone... else that, too, would have gone up in smoke.

There's not much more I can say about crack. I've been into the madness also. It's not pretty. It's not special. It's just a morass, a mess, a living hell.

On a lighter note, I've wanted to post a picture of my Chinese hammy and haven't been able to do it; but I've found one. If you click on: you'll see my Little Mousey in white. The beady eyes show beautifully in that photo...

I'll leave it here. Take care folks. — Gleds.

Posted by gledwood at 4:02 PM GMT
Updated: Friday, 5 January 2007 10:54 PM GMT
Thursday, 4 January 2007
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: Chung Peng Chow's Magic Cow Orchestra... and if you believe that you'll believe anything!
Topic: Daily Doings
Hi folks, it's night time. I am very tired bc I can't get a sleep pattern of any sense together. Did I have anything pertinent to say?? Whatver it was it's gone. If I knew where... do you know what, I don't know that I'm not too tired to bother fishing it back... Oh night-night...

Posted by gledwood at 11:30 PM GMT

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