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A NUTSHELL: FULL OF ADDICT’S THINKING:
A FEW MONTHS BEFORE I found the programme, I was working in retail and found a wonderful supplier for my habit, my manager. Now all I had to do was to make it to work. In fact, all of a sudden, work was not all that bad. I began to work fourteen-hour days. It was my perpetual and ultimate connexion, and life became more blurry every day. I found myself doing things for drugs that I didn’t want to do. But I did anything that I had to do to stay high. Using became so much a part of my routine that, at one point, it was accepted behaviour to cut lines of cocaine on the restaurant table. I became oblivious to the fact that what I was doing was illegal. I never could figure out why it seemed like people were always staring at me! I remember thinking, “God grant me the power to change the people, places, and things that do not agree with my way of thinking.” I could never figure out why this world would not devote itself to making me happy.
From “Alien”, p165, Narcotics Anonymous “Blue Book”. ©1988 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc., Van Nuys, California, USA.
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