Mood:
downNow Playing: Exhaustedly!
Topic: Daily Doings
HAVING STAYED OFF the “gear” as much as I could these past few days, I’ve been relying on methadone to keep me “sane”.
I know my excessive sleep would be blamed on the heroin, if I complained to drugs workers or doctors about it. I now know this is not the case.
No heroin and only the far weaker methadone and I’m still tired out and depressed and sleeping all day.
Shouldn’t moan about this, I’ve had depressions for years. Winter has got me so bad this time around though.
Christmas is looming. I’ve tried not to be gloomy about Christmas here, but to me and everyone like me, it’s a time of bleakness — no real fun. And the rest of the world feels like it’s stopped to boot.
When I was working, years ago, I always used to get laid off for at least a week at Christmas. So in good times and in bad, Xmas was never really much of a time…
As for New Year, I’ve never been one to choose that particular time to start imposing resolutions.
Before my addiction came along I was always capable of sticking to any arrangement I chose to make with myself. I never needed New Year as an excuse to push me along.
But I have to be honest, I’ve told myself I’m stopping heroin so many times only to let myself down, I’m very wary of making any resolutions at all nowadays, New Year or not…
