Gledwood's Drug Confessions: A Heroin Addict's Blog
Thursday, 14 December 2006

Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Wearily...
Topic: Daily Doings

MY SLEEP CYCLE, as I’ve remarked, is all over the place. Some things never change and my sleep is one of them. Thanks to some cheese, having zzz’d all night, I dragged myself up, forced myself to do some necessary things only to end up lying down again and drowsing deeply throughout much of the afternoon. Then I did get up, only to feel weary and depressed.

    I know the winter blues, when they fit the “syndrome” get labelled Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). That is, depression with massive over-sleeping and a craving for sweets and pasta etc is triggered by the (in my opinion massively) diminished hours of winter daylight.

    That said, I have noticed an added urge for Jaffa Cakes and Turkish lemon curd biscuits (the lemon curd is in the middle — yummy.

    Plus I have been spending hours and hours as unconscious as possible. “Hibernating,” I like to call it. Hmmm…

    As well as nasty old winter the killings of those young girls have got me down. As I implied earlier, I count myself lucky that in the roulette wheel of life chances, I was not born female. Because if I was, I can’t see that I would not be out on the midnight streets as those women were.

    A newspaper commentator called those “working girls” streetwise. Well of course they think they are.

    And to most “straight” people, no doubt they would seem that way. But as yet another article implied, drug addicts actually tend to be immature. (Streetwise and mature are not of course the same, but one thing does feed into the other.)

    Perhaps the Narcotics Anonymous theory is true and the age at which addiction grabs you is the emotional age at which you stay.

    That would put me in my 20s. But many of my acquaintances are stuck in their teens.

    Youngsters stuck in adult bodies. No wonder they live lives of such chaos…


Posted by gledwood at 11:46 PM GMT

Saturday, 16 December 2006 - 5:49 AM GMT

Name: "Laurie Ishii"
Home Page: http://www.laurieishii.com

Hi Gledwood -

 I just finished sending you an e-mail - I'm sorry if it took me a while to get back to you, and I should have visited your web blog before I even wrote but I didn't. I had gotten numerous e-mails at once and was just trying to get back to everyone ASAP. 

 But once I was finished with that, I wanted to visit your site.

 My heart goes out to you... I can't say I know exactly how you feel... but I know that I can definitely relate... a LOT. Please, just don't give up those days when you are just trying to survive, exsisting like an empty shell... I was like the girls you wrote about below... it was only the grace of God that I am not dead like one of the many...

 Before I received your e-mail I was in the process of writing a more detailed story of my own nightmare... I just put it on todays blog. 

 God has a purpose and destiny for your life... I'd love to correspond more with you, please feel free to write me again! Thank you for sharing your heart...

God bless you,

Laurie 

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